Dante and His Monitor

So, way back in the 2000s (2002, I think) me and my family lived way the buttfuck out in Junction City, which, if you have never visited, I can save you time by just saying the ‘town’ is one street, and miles and miles of godforsaken farmland. Whoop dee fucking doo.

So, we lived out there, and I was, like, 8 or something, and we decided to get a BRAND SPANKING NEW COMPUTER.

This was to replace our old, Windows 98 computer that we had for… a long time (I don’t know how long exactly) and since I was 8, I didn’t know pretty much anything about computers and my general knowledge of them extended to the point where I could turn them on and play Galaxia (it was this old computer game that I SWEAR exists and it was awesome and it had a claw and lasers).

So naturally, when we got OUR BRAND SPANKING NEW COMPUTER I was overjoyed, because I could upgrade my gaming abilities to include RollerCoaster Tycoon and Zoo Tycoon and ALSO Mall Tycoon. It was like a fucking tycoonphlosion.

Our BRAND SPANKING NEW COMPUTER was a Dell Dimension 4500, which, if anyone has ever seen one, is the epitome of early 2000s computer. It looks like this:

And it runs like a slug. No, I’m joking, slugs don’t have 128mb of RAM.

Now, this computer also came with a monitor, that I presently AM STILL FUCKING USING that has an expansive resolution of 1024x768 pixels, and the pixels are so fucking big that I could probably count every single one. This monitor is SO FUCKING OLD.

And it’s SQUARE and I don’t have any fucking MONEY to buy a new one.

So, the point of this post is, I guess, my monitor is bad and it should feel bad. Fuck you, monitor. Fuck. You.

Fuck.